What You Need to Know Right Now about

Looking and Feeling Better

We have all had those days when you don’t quite feel on top of the world. Just when you are feeling at your lowest along comes someone else who looks like they have it all together.

Their hair is perfect, you know just cut, suits their face no dark patch where you can see how many inches since the last colour was done.

Of course they are also wearing just the right thing as well. Right colour, right style, right size.

On top of all of that they are striding purposefully along with perfectly applied lipstick and a smile on their face.

You see this and you automatically feel worse. Then the little negative voice inside your head starts telling you just how bad you really are.

 You start to wonder how on earth do they do it, and why on earth you can’t.

Of course we all know the key is in being self- confident. Being confident in who you are as a woman and in the choices you make. There are many reasons that might make you feel less confident.

  • Your life to this point and the things that have happened to you.
  • Your own emotional make up and whether or not you have learned self-acceptance.

 Some of it is also the physical aspect of being a woman. There is a part of your brain, the anterior cingulate cortex, charged with negative thinking and worrying. In women it is known to be larger.

In her book, “The Female Brain”, Louann Brizendine MD, a neuropsychiatrist from the University of California, talks at length about this and how fluctuations in our hormones can actually make this worse. She goes on to discuss changes at menopause and how the reduction of certain hormones actually makes you more forthright as you don't have the same concerns about caring what other people think as a result.

There are lots of small simple things you can do everyday to help you be more self confident.

Self -love and self -acceptance should be your number one priority. If you are always striving to be someone or something without acknowledging where you are now you miss an opportunity to celebrate yourself.

  • A great way to tackle this is to start each day with positive affirmation. There are some people who recommend you do this naked. If that is a little bit scary at first then just start by looking in the mirror and saying “I am a beautiful and confident woman”. It does feel a little silly at first but with practice you will soon be standing naked in front of that mirror.
  • There are also some great positive morning meditations you can do that help you start out saying positive things about your day and yourself. Why does this work, well mostly because our brain believes what we say and it then reinforces it through the day and influences what we do.

Whilst you are working on this you can tackle taking care of yourself physically on both the outside and the inside.

  • For the inside think carefully about how you fuel your body. Doesn’t it deserve the best food you can possible give it. A diet rich in brightly coloured vegetables, healthy fats and antioxidants will make your skin glow and give you way more energy.
  • As for the outside you don’t have to spend a lot of money to keep your hair and nails trimmed, and your body buffed and glowing.
  • Why not have a spa at home. Run a hot bath put something you love into it, either oils or even some magnesium salts to boost your energy. Put on your favourite music, burn some candles, put on a face mask and lock the door to the outside world and spend an hour just luxuriating.

In order to boost both the outside and the inside you need to be physically active every day.

  • Your body is a little bit like an engine if you don’t use it, it gets sluggish and starts to break down. The key is to find something you love, be it ballroom dancing or walking.
  • Do it as often as you can and add some walks, runs or cycles into the mix as well. Pretty soon you’ll be seeing a different shape in the mirror as well.

Last of all go through your wardrobe and throw out anything that doesn’t make you feel good. I know we all have those outfits. Usually black and two sizes too big!

  • Whilst you are at it get rid of all the clothes with holes, missing buttons and broken zips, as well as the ones you are keeping just in case you lose another 20 kilos. You actually deserve to have clothes that fit you and are in good working order.
  • Now and again get dressed up just for the sake of it. I have noticed that when you stop working outside the home it is easy to not have to worry about getting dressed and putting on your lipstick etc. At first it is liberating, and then It becomes habit and you forget how to do it.
  • The same applies to those of you who work from home. We think because no one can see us it doesn’t matter.

 Last but not least practise smiling. Just forcing yourself to smile can release all kinds of chemicals in your body that will make you feel good and hence more confident.